Uncomplicated Momming

Updated May 2025

Whether you’re standing on the edge of this decision with clarity or just starting to explore the path to parenthood, the journey can feel both exciting and overwhelming. As a single mom by choice who navigated this process solo, I’m sharing the top two first steps I believe every woman should consider when thinking about becoming a mom—plus the money conversations I wish someone had with me earlier.

1. Get Your Fertility Checked (Even If You’re “Not Ready Yet”)

My #1 recommendation for any woman who’s even thinking about getting pregnant: understand your fertility now. You don’t have to be ready to conceive to be ready to get data. I was 31 when I got my fertility tested—and while my results came back “normal,” that information helped me make empowered decisions on my timeline.

A fertility assessment typically includes:

• An AMH blood test (to estimate ovarian reserve)
• Antral follicle count via ultrasound
• Hormone level testing (FSH, LH, estradiol, and more)
• A consultation with a fertility specialist or OB/GYN

Personal Note: I was definitely influenced by the ’Gram and ended up going to KindBody for my testing, but your regular OB can often order these tests too—especially if you’ve had a long relationship with them. No referral? Many fertility clinics offer low-cost new patient consults.

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Financial Reality Check

I didn’t have a ton of savings when I started the process. Part of that was because IUI isn’t outrageously expensive—especially compared to IVF or adoption. I budgeted for sperm donor costs, monitoring appointments, and the actual insemination. It was manageable.

But what I didn’t plan for (and wish I had)?
Childcare.
Because let’s be real: paying for daycare is a mortgage-sized expense. If you’re thinking about becoming a mom in the next few years, saving for daycare might be the smartest long-term prep you can do.

And while we’re on money…

What I Wish I Knew About Health Insurance

Here’s a hard-earned lesson: learn the ins and outs of your health insurance before you get pregnant.

I assumed my plan would cover what I needed. It didn’t.
Some things to ask:

• Does my plan cover fertility testing or treatment (IUI, IVF)?
• Are pregnancy and delivery considered “in-network” at my preferred hospital?
• What’s covered if my baby ends up in the NICU? (Mine were—and it impacted my out-of-pocket costs in ways I hadn’t anticipated.)
• Do I need to meet a deductible again if I give birth in January?

Trust me: a one-hour call to your insurance provider now can save you thousands and a world of stress later.

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2. Decide Your Path to Parenthood

Once you have your fertility information, it’s time to think through how you want to become a parent. There’s no one “right” path—just the one that’s right for you.

Here are a few common paths:

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)

This was my choice. IUI is a procedure where sperm is inserted directly into the uterus during ovulation. It’s often the first step in fertility treatments due to its simplicity and lower cost compared to IVF.

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF)

A more intensive process: eggs are retrieved, fertilized in a lab, and then implanted into the uterus. IVF typically has higher success rates but is also more expensive and physically demanding.

Adoption

Adoption is a beautiful and complex journey involving legal steps, potential wait times, and emotional readiness. It’s an incredible option, whether domestic, international, or through foster care.

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Kristen’s Personal Take

All of my fertility results were within the normal range for my age. That didn’t guarantee pregnancy—it just gave me a clearer picture of what I was working with.

Knowing I wanted to be a mom someday helped me create a plan that felt realistic. Initially, I explored adoption. But the combination of legal complexity and financial strain felt heavier than the emotional and physical challenges of conceiving solo.

I ultimately chose IUI—and it worked. If it hadn’t, I had already decided I would rather pursue adoption than invest in IVF. That’s not the “right” answer; it’s just my answer.

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Why This Matters

The path to motherhood isn’t one-size-fits-all. I share my story to remind you: you’re allowed to ask questions, gather information, and take small steps—even before you’re 100% ready.

This post is packed with acronyms (IUI, IVF, AMH) because the fertility world is full of them—and while they can feel intimidating at first, you don’t have to know everything to get started. You just have to be willing to learn one step at a time. Learn more about the terms here: Big Words and Acronyms, Oh My!