When I started looking at child care options, a daycare center seemed like the perfect solution. From a cost and hours perspective, it made sense. I started touring centers when I was about 12 weeks pregnant because everyone warned me to get on waitlists early, and they weren’t kidding. One thing that immediately rubbed me the wrong way was the non-refundable deposits, with no guarantee of when we could get in. The idea of paying money without any certainty didn’t sit well with me.
But I did find a daycare that seemed promising—one within walking distance of my house, which had room for twins. That’s almost unheard of. They checked all my boxes, and I even appreciated how they would handle things like Father’s Day, welcoming any support people to participate in family-driven holidays. This felt like a respectful nod to my family structure.
Fast Forward: The Reality Sets In
A year later, when it was time for me to go back to work, the daycare seemed ready. We scheduled a practice day—a shorter day to ease into things. But the moment we walked through the door, I knew something was off. I expected an orientation, a chance to meet the teachers and get acclimated, but instead, the entire experience was cold.
When I tried to ask basic questions, they brushed me off, telling me that all the information had been covered during my tour. My tour? That was a year ago! Between pregnancy brain, giving birth to twins, and the whirlwind of the last few months, how could they expect me to remember every detail from a 12-month-old tour?
Strike One: Lack of Communication and Preparation
Turns out, I needed an app and a key fob to navigate the facility—details that were not mentioned during the practice day until I asked. A key fob is kind of essential when you’re dropping your kids off, right? This oversight seemed small at first, but it was just the beginning.
Strike Two: A Lack of Attention to Details
Then, the center director handed me a key fob—for their dad. Now, I’ve dealt with strangers asking about “dad” before; they don’t know our family dynamic, and that’s fine. But these are the people responsible for my children’s care. Their job is to know the details. It was in their paperwork that I’m a single mom by choice, so it was not only insensitive but sloppy. Details matter, and the fact that they didn’t seem to understand that was alarming. My gut was telling me something wasn’t right, but I pushed forward anyway.
Strike Three: Miscommunication and Micromanagement Accusations
Things only got worse from there. The teacher asked me for my twins’ schedule, which I happily provided. We follow Taking Cara Babies, which has worked wonders for us, so I sent the schedule to the director to print it out. I thought this would be helpful. But instead of seeing it as me providing insight into my babies’ routine, they accused me of micromanaging the teachers.
I’m the first to admit I’m Type A. But as a NICU mom who spent months working closely with medical professionals, I’ve had numerous people comment on my calm and low-key approach to parenting, even with my attention to detail. This wasn’t micromanaging. It was me making sure my babies had consistency during their transition to daycare. I had a conversation with the teacher to clear things up, but the management doubled down, insisting I was overstepping. It felt like they didn’t want parents to have a say in their children’s care, which was a huge red flag.
Trust Yourself, Even When It’s Hard
We made it four days at that daycare before I pulled them out. It wasn’t right for us. I had no backup plan, which was terrifying, but I knew in my gut that we couldn’t stay. It wasn’t just one thing—it was the constant miscommunications, the lack of care for details, and the feeling that my babies weren’t in the right hands.
I share this story because I want to remind other moms—especially single moms by choice—to trust themselves. When something feels off, listen to your instincts. No one knows your children better than you do. Child care decisions are hard, and sometimes you’ll second-guess yourself, but at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to feel confident in your choices. And if something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to make a change.
We’ll figure it out, because that’s what we do. Trust yourself.
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