Parenting can feel like a series of phases strung together, each with its own set of challenges, triumphs, and surprises. As a Type A person, I approach each phase with a mix of preparation and trepidation. I often hear Louis Pasteur’s words echoing in my mind: “Chance favors the prepared mind.” My high school English teacher used this quote to encourage us to study before tests. Even if we weren’t sure about all the answers, having studied would give us a better chance of figuring things out. I’ve brought that same philosophy into parenting. While I might not always feel ready for the next step, I try to prepare as much as possible. And when I’m not ready? Well, that’s okay, too.
Today, I moved both of my twins’ cribs into their shared room. This shift feels monumental because until now, one crib had been in my room while the other stayed in theirs. Early on, they shared a crib, but as they’ve grown, they’ve started playing with each other instead of sleeping. It’s time for a new arrangement—and another new phase.
It’s funny to think back just a few months to when they transitioned from bassinets to cribs. One day, they were snug in their bassinets, and the next, they were rolling over and outgrowing them. I wasn’t emotionally ready for that milestone, but it came and went, and now here we are, tackling the next one. As a NICU mom, I’ve learned that milestones often feel more arbitrary than absolute. Social media doesn’t help, with its curated snapshots of babies hitting milestones “on time” or “early,” adding unnecessary pressure to an already intense journey.
The reality is that milestones—big and small—are essential for development, but they’re also deeply personal to each child. Your baby might hit one milestone ahead of schedule and lag behind on another. That’s normal. Knowing the general milestones helps us stay aware of what’s coming next, but our children will lead the way. For example:
- Transitioning from bassinets to cribs
- Starting solids
- Crawling, standing, and walking
- Switching from bottles to cups
- Saying their first words
Each of these milestones represents more than just a developmental achievement; they’re a reminder that our children are growing and evolving every day. Milestones also give us parents something tangible to focus on amid the chaos. They help us celebrate progress and provide an anchor when we feel adrift.
Still, the pressure to hit milestones can be overwhelming. Social media can amplify this, showcasing babies who seem to be leaping past every marker with ease. It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind. But milestones aren’t a race. They’re a guideline. Some babies take longer to transition, and that’s okay.
As parents, we might not always feel ready for the next phase. But much like studying for a test, preparation helps. Read about upcoming changes, talk to other parents, and trust your instincts. And when a milestone sneaks up on you—like rolling over, climbing out of a crib, or deciding they’re done with bottles—know that it’s okay to feel unprepared. You’ll figure it out.
Because parenting isn’t about acing the test; it’s about showing up, learning as you go, and celebrating each phase for what it is—a stepping stone to the next.
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