There’s a question I find myself bumping into over and over—especially as a mom:
But what if…?
What if the baby cries?
What if they don’t nap?
What if they get overtired, overstimulated, hungry, sick, fussy, or clingy?
But also—what if they don’t?
What if the new restaurant is just fine?
What if the flight goes smoothly?
What if the booth next to you is full of sweet grandparents who’ve been missing their grandbabies and are thrilled to smile and wave at yours?
We spend so much time preparing for the worst-case scenario that we often forget something important: The best-case scenario is just as likely.
And if we let the what-ifs stop us in motherhood, we’ll probably let them stop us in life, too.
I get it. I’ve been there.
As a NICU mom of twins, I know what it’s like to live in a world built on planning, structure, and being ready for anything. It was survival. For the first few months, I followed a strict NICU-style schedule because it gave me (and my babies) what we needed: stability. Predictability. Control.
But life outside the NICU? Life with growing babies, shifting
Some of the best moments have come when I loosened my grip and said yes to something that didn’t have a guaranteed outcome. A last-minute brunch invite. A weekend away. A new trail to explore. A baby-friendly brewery that might end in a meltdown—or might not.
Planning vs. Living: The Balancing Act
I’m not saying don’t plan—please do. I love a solid plan.
But don’t let the planning become the reason you don’t show up at all.
You don’t need a perfect scenario to try something new. You just need a few tools in your back pocket and the willingness to ride the wave.
Here are a few things that help me keep doing life—even with the what-ifs:
💡 Tips & Tricks for Navigating the What-Ifs
1. Plan with flexibility, not fear.
It’s not about having a perfect backup for every meltdown—it’s about creating enough structure to feel confident, not confined. Try things like:
- A change of clothes for baby and you.
- A small sensory toy or snack to distract in a pinch.
- A flexible schedule where you know the next nap window, but don’t stress if it slides.
2. Research, then release.
Looking into cancelation policies, nap-friendly excursions, and kid-friendly spaces? Great. But once you’ve done your homework, let it go. You’ve prepared—now live.
Shoutout to my travel agent best friend who reminds me often: that’s why trip insurance exists. The unexpected is built into the plan.
3. Don’t assume the worst-case scenario.
That group of friends planning a trip? Say yes.
That dinner invite? Take the baby and go.
That Saturday event? Try the first hour and leave if needed.
We act like meltdown = failure. It doesn’t. It’s just one moment in a full life.
4. Find your people—and trust them.
If you’re lucky, the people around you will get it. If they don’t? Go anyway. Show them how normal it is to live out loud with babies in tow.
And if you get lucky? You might end up seated next to those doting grandparents, or sharing trail snacks with another mom who gets it.
What if you fly?
Last year I wrote about playing it safe vs. embracing adventure. This feels like the next chapter of that reflection.
Because these days, I find myself choosing to live in motion—even when the outcomes aren’t certain.
Erin Hanson said it best:
“What if I fall?
Oh but my darling, what if you fly?”
So, mama, go to the restaurant. Say yes to the trip. Take the babies outside. Let them interrupt a conversation. Let them be.
You’re not reckless—you’re living.
And living, even with its what-ifs, is the adventure worth choosing.
What “what if” has been holding you back lately—and what’s one small step you could take anyway? I’d love to hear from you.
Feel free to subscribe or share if this post encouraged you to say yes, even when it’s imperfect.
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