Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
And waste it on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head
Motherhood makes those lyrics feel uncomfortably on-brand some days.
I’m a planner by nature. I read the parenting books, binge the podcasts, crowdsource ideas from other moms, and put in real effort to raise emotionally connected, confident kids. But even with all that prep work, toddlers still operate on their own strategic roadmap. Sometimes they’re sweet and regulated. Sometimes they’re tiny corporate terrorists with no regard for process or protocol.
And sometimes you’re just trying to survive a four-hour flight.
The Scene: Seat 33A and the Unsolicited Parenting Feedback Loop
On a packed flight, tucked in seat 33A, I encountered a Mines soccer player who felt compelled to provide real-time judgment on my parenting—via text messages she assumed I couldn’t see. Spoiler: I did.
Meanwhile, my twins?
They slept for nearly two hours and spent the rest happily snacking, playing quietly, and doing exactly what you hope toddlers will do in a confined flying metal tube.
In the world of toddler travel KPIs, that’s a win.
In the world of seat 33A, I was apparently a public nuisance.
Perspective Is a Skillset, Not a Default Setting
Here’s what I hope for her someday: that someone judges her just as casually and confidently as she judged me. Not out of spite, but out of reality. Because perspective isn’t automatic. It’s earned.
Parenting in public is an ongoing performance review that nobody asked for. Strangers see a snapshot. They don’t see the prep. They don’t see the emotional labor. They don’t see the strategic thinking that goes into keeping two toddlers regulated in an overstimulating environment.
Yes, I Overthought It—Because That’s What Moms Do
Did I spend too much time thinking about her texts? Yes.
Should I have allocated that mental space elsewhere? Also yes.
But after navigating security lines, managing snacks, juggling toys, preventing meltdowns, and keeping tiny humans alive at cruising altitude, my cognitive load was already at capacity. Her commentary hit at the exact wrong moment, so it stuck longer than I’d like to admit.
The Reality of Modern Motherhood
We’re all doing our best. We’re all learning on the fly. And sometimes the world gives you an unsolicited opinion from seat 33A that forces you to confront how much weight you’re still giving strangers.
Motherhood isn’t uncomplicated, but the love and the growth make the chaos worth it—every single time.
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